Book Rave: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
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Why I Rave
My first book rave must be Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. I chose this one because it opened my eyes wide to my true passion in life. I am embarrassing excited when I think of helping other women Lean In. The desire to support my sisters in arms lead me to forming Lean In Circles and create this blog.
A Rocket Scientist Leans In
I discovered this profound book in the most appropriate way. I attended a Women in Defense mentoring event. The guest speaker was Debra Facktor Lepore, VP & GM Washington Operations, Ball Aerospace & Technologies Corp. She was a no-kidding rocket scientist who provided a great presentation on mentorship. In the follow-on questions, someone asked about her thoughts on the released book Lean In. It was so new, I felt I was the only woman in the room who had no idea what the book was about. I had not watched Sheryl Sandberg’s TED talk. I was out of the loop. As soon as I got home, I bought the audio version and listened to the whole thing right away.
Lean Where?
Lean In taught me about gender bias and leadership. Before if I sensed someone did not like me, I would take it personally and feel incompetent. I hit roadblocks and did not understand my challenges. After reading, I learned to have compassion for myself and my coworkers. I took pride in being someone who breaks stereotypes in many ways. At the same time, I doubled my efforts to become more diplomatic in my approach. I always felt it was “just me” with my challenges. Lean In gave me the confidence to approach my coworkers about these topics. We validated amongst ourselves that many similiar issues happened to ALL of us. Furthermore, together we could understand and overcome these obstacles.
For women, we tend to struggle through and not share our struggles. We do not want to expose ourselves as weak. Lean In got us looking around and saying “you too?!” In the military and law enforcement, there is an expectation that men and women are supposted to know what to do. As women, we can feel isolated and worry about this perception of weakness. So we trudge on in silence, carrying the burden alone. We learned communicating with other women (and supportive men!)...generates ideas or at least share an empathetic sigh.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Emotions
There were many "Aha!" moments when reading the book. My favorite - when she admitted to getting overwhelmed with emotion at work. Yes…crying…. I was driving when I heard that part and teared up in relief. No, crying is still not the best expression in the workplace. To learn others also got so full of rage and frustration at times that…I felt good to not be alone.
Reading about the “Tiara Complex” was most humbling. In a gentle manner, Sheryl Sandberg chides those of us who thought if you keep your head down and work hard, someone will recognize it. I must confess, I did that - I did not foster the relationships critical to progression. I built bonds with peers and subordinates. When it came to building relationships with my bosses or higher ups, I failed. I was either too intimidated or too independent to try. Now, I am reaching out and creating bonds (or at least attempting) with the most incredible people. I found a phenomenal mentor, who happens to be a coach as well - score! None of this would have been possible without his guidance, honest feedback, and his belief in me.
Someone has to Sustain the Economy...it Might as Well be Me
Gosh…I hope now I’m not overhyping, but if Costco sold Lean In in bulk...I'd buy it. I rarely read or listen to a book after the first time, I have listened to Lean In twice. Writing this makes me want to listen again. I bought the hard copy so I can highlight and take notes in the actual book...then I gave it away. Then I bought two, one for me and one as a gift...yup gifted those too. Last round, I purchased a few to give away.
Lean In is more than a book, it is a movement, a tribe striving towards gender equality; it’s an unstoppable force. This WILL happen, it is happening now. Thanks to a phenomenal community member and Lean In Circle leader, also in my military tribe, Lt Col Erika Cashin invited Sheryl Sandberg to attend an event at the MN base Officers Club (I would be SO awestruck!). Sheryl Sandberg acknowledged military women in an interview by Business Insider Weekly. The discussion officially entered our ranks, BRING IT! Oops, I mean LEAN IN!